Just got home from Illinois, lock the front door, oh boy!
Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch
Imagination sets in, pretty soon I'm singin'
Doo, doo, doo, lookin' out my back door - Creedence Clearwater Revival
In the backyard under the morning sun, Terrance extinguished her candy cigarette in warm Old Style beer. Her candy cig, had a burnt end because her father had given her a light after she ate her breakfast of freshly squeezed orange juice, a bowl of frosted flakes and a toasted strawberry pop tart smeared with butter. Little did her father, Chevy, know, Terrance had been playing with lighters and matches.
As Terrance placed the Old Style Beer can on the peeling redwood stained picnic table she thought, “Christ, I am gonna probably have to paint that before the summer is over.” then sat on the sun worn bench of the table.
Terrance knew how to play pretend for real.
She liked chewing tinfoil with her mercury filled molars. She loved to push the hairs on a dog’s paw right between the pads. She loved the smell of broccoli farts. Though it would be a few years before she would have the experience of the smell of a brussel farts or feel the sensation of wearing a bloody stayfree mini pad on a hot humid Illinois summer day.
Some things she did not like - pork roast, airport hamburgers, well I guess meat in general, snakes, mowing the lawn, picking up dog poop and her dad’s ‘temper tantrums’. Something she recently found out that she did not like, those black specks that grew between one's toes. It looked like pepper and if potatoes can grow in ears, then why not try.
Every morning, Terrance would test the waters in their above ground pool. It was like a little chemistry kit with test tubes. As she collected her water samples, she looked at all the dead insects floating in the water. Picnic bugs, horse flies and at least 10 lightning bugs.
“What a waste! ...I should have caught them last night!” she complained to her best friend Maria….who was what some people call an invisible friend but she was not invisible to Terrance. Maria had been with Terrance since the age of 4.
It was a good thing Terrance and Maria met. Because since the age of 2 Terrance freaked her mother out. Terrance would talk about the good old days. She would talk about things that happened when she was a baby, things that happened at the age of 1.
“You are not supposed to remember those things, you were too young!” In disbelief, she would question Terrance: “What color were the walls? What time was it on the clock?” And Terrance would remember everything,except names. She was not good with names.
So her mother, Suzie Q, avoided talking to Terrance. Suzie Q started working-a lot. Her hard work paid off, she became the first ever woman to be a non-foods manager in a grocery store. Then in a wink of an eye, she became a district manager with a company station wagon. It was beautiful, it matched Suzie Q lips which were often the color of Paul Masson’s wine,
which she drank from time to time.
Terrance scooped out the dead bugs from the pool then took her test tubes over to the picnic table. She pulled out another cigarette from her pack of Camels and grabbed the lighter from the cellophane that kept the smell of tobacco on her candy cigarettes. As she lit it and she inhaled puffing out in her raspy voice, “Well, Maria it looks like I need to add more chlorine.”
She went into the garage to retrieve the chemicals and added them. Then she hopped in the pool, careful to keep her cigarette from getting wet. Then she ran around the pool to get them all mixed in. When things were all mixed, she looked around the backyard.
The lawn needs mowed. That much was clear. Hell, Terrance could hardly see Barbie’s Winnebego parked by their rusty swing set through the tall weedy grass. Terrance was refusing to mow the lawn until her younger brother, CJ, picked up the dog poop.
He was always getting out of work, just last week he “accidently” washed his hair with baby oil. When SuzieQ discovered her son’s hair had remained wet for 3 hours, she asked, “What did you wash your hair with?” CJ’s responded, “the bottle with the pink cap.” So Terrance ended up cleaning the whole garage all by herself while SuzieQ washed CJ’s hair out with Ajax, which did not work!
“Hey, Maria where do you think CJ is? He wasn’t at breakfast.”
“He’s probably hiding from your mom, afraid she’ll put Sunin to keep his hair blonde.”
Neither Maria nor Terrance obsessed over CJ’s hair.
“He so dumb, it’s Saturday. Mom is at work.”
And on cue, her Dad, Chevy, started playing records. It was Saturday, which started early.
Tanya Tucker, belted out the back window.
Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on?
Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?
And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today
To take you to his mansion in the sky?
She's forty-one and her daddy still calls her "baby"
All the folks around Brownsville say she's crazy
'Cause she walks dowtown with a suitcase in her hand
Looking for a mysterious dark-haired man…..
It must be 1:00pm somewhere, thought Terrance.
Instinctively, Terrance began to sing along then she pulled herself out of the pool in a mad panic. She knew her dad’s play order and she most definitely did not want to miss performing the best song! While her dad was inside cleaning the kitchen, prepping for dinner, relaxed drinking, and playing DJ, Terrance was in a mad dash to get set up on the back porch stage. She felt the clumps of crab grass between her feet and she headed to the garden to retrieve her red croquet mallet. It was in a tomato plant. There was a big green tomato worm on a tomato. Tomato worms are never a good sign Terrance thought. But this was of little importance to Terrance right now.
She ran to the garage freezer and pulled out a red bullet popsicle. She put her white terry cloth shorts on, her tube socks with white stripes…which in Terrance’s imagination were red boots — Wonder Woman’s boots.
Terrance mounted her mallet horse like a rhinestone cowgirl, spit out her cigarette, rose her popsicle to her mouth and smeared its juices on her lips to make them red… she did it!
She was ready in time for Barbi Benton… the playboy girl album her dad played when SuzieQ was working. She looked just like her Miss American Barbie, the one with a crown and BLACK hair. Terrance had black hair, freckles and glasses that turned dark in the sunshine but when she took off her glasses, she was Barbi Benton — Not a playboy centerfold, but a playgirl, the center of attention.
Terance sang at the top of her lungs….
“She outgreew brass Bu-ckles
on her shoes!
At twelve, she was fillin’ out ‘er jeans….
With a MIIIND young N’ WISSSE,
and a body the devil’s style,
She could make
a MAN do Anythang!”
Terrance … leaned into her popsicle microphone, lowered her voice, closed her eyes and hoped Travis Foster was watching on the other side of the redwood privacy fence.
“She was old enough to try anything that crossed her mind
She liked anything that caught her eye
Like big diamond rings and shiny mood rings,
Cuz da devil never gave her a chance to be a child!
Woh-oh, I outgrew brass buckles on her…...”
Before Terrance could finish, Samantha, her 2nd best friend, walked through the backyard gate. Crying, her face as red as her hair. Terrance was upset not to finish her performance but Samatha crying was always good news. It meant she was fighting with one or both of her sisters Gigi and Tabatha. All three girls had exotic names for a small township, their mom picked their names out of TV Guide!
But Samatha was not crying because of a fight. She was crying because she was so happy. She and her sister all got a summer surprise, birthstone rings. She showed it to her, hers was blue. Her sister Gigi got a rose colored one and Tabatha got a clear one, like a real wedding diamond ring!
Terrance admired Samatha’s ring. Terrance once had a birthstone ring but she threw it away, it was green. Terrance wanted a red ring. So she would just try to get her mood ring to turn red but it rarely did because Terrance was rarely angry, so to get it to turn red, she would stick her hand under scalding hot water for as long as she could.
Terrance dismounted her croquet mallet. “You’re such a cry baby.”
“We got new lunch boxes for school and we want to use them now. I got a Scooby Doo one and Tabatha got a Cinderella one, it has a game on the back. Anyway, we wanna go eat lunch on our own, on an adventure, we are going far away from here. We wanted to invite you.”
“What kind of lunchbox did Gigi get?”
“I don’t know because I am not speaking to her right now. She kissed your brother — YUCK!”
The exclamative YUCK revealed the cage in Samatha’s mouth. A dentist had put it there a few days ago so she couldn't press her powerful tongue against her front teeth, which was starting to give her a buck toothed appearance that the doctor and her mother said would be a potent repellent to boys. Terrance loved looking at it and wondered what it would feel like to eat mashed potatoes with this strange contraption installed.
Then the voice of reason yelled and brought Terrance back to the present, “What are you staring at...So you comin’ with us or not?”
Terrance consulted her mood ring, it was green. Mixed emotions.
“Yeah.”
“Bring your packed lunchbox, sweeties and dress to match your lunch box. Meet us where the creek meets the cornfields, where we are not supposed to go. Meet there at 1pm.”
Then Samatha disappeared back through the gate. It slammed shut. While Terrance stood there thinking about where her lunch box could be, she noticed her dog Trouper shaking his head back and forth….she stood paralyzed at the odd sight.
Unbeknownst to her, half a garter snake’s body was flying through the air, propelling like a helicopter blade. “Trouper what in the heck are you doing now?,” Terrance pondered until WAP — the bottom ½ a garter snake slapped her in the face.
Splat! it landed in a puddle of water on the cement back porch next to her feet.
Terrence looked down to see it flapping about making ripples causing cigarette butts to bob up and down like tiny canoes.
Maria yelled, “Christ that’s a bad sign, don’t go with them!”
Terrance ignored her and went inside to find her lunch box.
Inside, there was the smell of English Lather, onions and cigarette smoke — Parliaments. Terrance went into her bedroom with no luck however, she did find her Baby Alive with dirty diapers. So she decided to substitute a purse for a lunch box from her mom’s closet — THE BIG RED ONE!
Terrance grabbed it from the closet. With her defacto lunch box in tow, she moved onto her mom’s makeup, to match her lunch box. She painted her nails red. Her grandma was an Avon Lady, so Terrance had access to real make up samples and Sweet Honesty perfume. Then she put on a candy striped tube tube top with criss cross shoulder straps, her tube socks with red stripes and her red jogging shoes. She loved this outfit, because everytime she wore it, the girls would beat the boys in kickball. Then Terrance packed her lunch, a double decker crunchy peanut butter sandwich, Cheetos, Pringles, and a Ho Ho.
Terrance left her dad, singing the last syllable of every word ...
I see the bad moon a-rising
I see trouble on the way
I see earthquakes and lightning
I see bad times today
Don't go around tonight
Well, it's bound to take your life
There's a bad moon on the rise
In the garage, she sprayed herself down with Off bug repellent. She loved the sensation when it burned on her scabbed knees and scratched mosquito bites. Then she rubbed a baby oil and iodine mixture on her body, so she could be tan like Barbi Benton. Then Terrance went to the backyard to pick sweeties, little tasty green clovers. She packed several handfuls but she left the ones with 4 leaves in the ground.
“That’s a bad idea,” warned Maria. “ You should stay here with me.”
“Shut up!”
Terrance grabbed her pack of Camels off the picnic table and went out the backgate to the place where the cornfield meets the creek. The place they were not supposed to go!
She sang all the way there…..
“Deltaa Daawn,
what's that flower you have on?
Could’t be a faaaded rose
from days gone byyyyyyyyy?
And did I hear you say?
he was a-meeting you here today
To take youuu to his man-shun
in the sky-y- y?
There Terrance sat by the creek waiting for Samatha and Tabatha. She plucked a blackberry from a bush. As the bubbly bits exploded in her mouth and her teeth crunched the seeds, She saw a big banana spider spinning a web and heard….
“Banana Spiders! That’s a bad sign!”
“Maria, you followed me. Christ!”
Terrance felt anxious, her mood ring turned orange. She lit a candy cigarette while she waited. Finally they approached. She could hear them fighting like cats and dogs.
“I told’ya we’d be late,” yelled Samatha at Tabatha.
“You guys want a cigarette?”
In unison they replied, “NOOO!”
Tabatha was the leader and eldest of these 3 girls.
Her skin was olive, she had a beauty mark above her lip. She wore a blue angel arm dress from the cover of Sears Catalog, her clear birthstone ring, and blue mary jane shoes with a brass buckle. In her right hand she grasped her Cinderella metal lunch box with a gameboard on the back!
Smantha wore her blue ring, She had red bangs that kissed the freckles on her ivory face. She wore a blue and green plaid sundress with tie straps on her shoulders. Her shoes were white thongs with a brass buckled heel strap. She carried a plastic vinyl Scooby Doo lunch box.
They both look perfect. All three girls stood at the edge of the cornfield.
Tabatha grabbed a milkweed plant, squeezed out the milk.
“Gross,” yelled Samatha.
“Are you gonna drink that?” asked Terrance.
“No, we are ALL gonna wear it!”
Samatha and Terrance looked at each other bewildered, yelled, “No we’re not!”
Paying no attention, Tabatha just continued…., “Yes you are!”
Tabatha was confident and the most stubborn girl you could meet.
Once, her mother Debbie came home from a parent teacher conference scolding Tabatha because she refused to read the word peoples, as peoples. Tabatha only would read the word peoples as people. She told her principal, her teacher, her mother and everyone in the world, “No one can make me say, read or think that word, it is a stupid, stupid word. I will never say it out loud!”
Tabatha said, “You know I Dream of Jeanie and BeWitched….well those are fake witches, not magic at all, I heard the milk from the milkweed from the place where we're not supposed to go gives you magic powers!”
Samatha’s face was as red as her hair, as she laughed, “Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the craziest of them all?”
“Tabatha - the kid witch,” laughed Terrance.
Terrance took the last drag off her candy cig, “Remember when you stood there for 3 hours looking in the mirror, saying I believe in Bloody Mary over and over?”
Samantha laughed more, “I’m gonna pee my pants.”
“I told you, stupid, stupid girl: Bloody Mary is a grown up drink.”
Tabatha got up, grabbed their hands, dragged the laughing little girls to the edge of the cornfield and rubbed milkweed up and down their wrists, and began chanting “Awww OOO EEEE Awww OOO EEEE!” The other girls joined in. Soon the air was filled with their howls. After a nearby dog began to bark the girls stopped and faced the field. Silence fell for a moment but was broken by a swift breeze that rustled the corn.
Samatha, feeling a little hungry, looked down to her arm holding her lunch, but found nothing but a floating lunchbox..
“Where’s my arm?”
She raised up the lunch box which moved as if her arm was still there but instead the lunch box held steady suspended in the air. She screamed.
Tabatha turned and yelled to Terrance, “Get my mom!”
But when they turned around Samantha was gone. Terrance watched as Samantha's lunch clattered to the ground. She fumbled for words but when she turned back to Tabatha she was met by a similar thud of a lunchbox and Tabatha was gone as well.
She sat in awe for a moment staring at the two containers in the dirt before scrambling to grab them and turning to run home.
She began to break into a stride but a spear of pain shot through her head and she collapsed to her knees.
Terrance felt her head was gonna explode, she heard a swirl of music…
From the bush Maria...
These boots are made for walking
And that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you
Her dad at home singing….
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
With four hungry children and a crop in the field
I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times
But this time your hurting won't heal
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
That is where the story, Corn fields Forever, begins…
To be Continued …...
©2020 by TC McCracken. All rights reserved.